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And that’s going to blow you away even more! And so, without further ado, I will proceed with the introduction of characters. Me first. Hey, it’s MY introduction, so I’m going to go first! My name is Riya, and I am an ‘Other.’ You see, in the U.S., every ten years, there’s a census. They like to say that they just want to know how many people there are, but if you’ve ever seen a census form, it’s pretty obvious that it’s all about marketing (or gerrymandering, which is the political equivalent). They are clearly trying to gain something. They’re trying to categorize us. They’re trying to sell us something. The first thing they’re interested in is race. Black, Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian… in the last census there were 15 categories to choose from. One of those categories was ‘Other.’ My Dad’s father was an African American who, as a soldier in Viet Nam, met Grandma while on R&R in the Philippines. Granddad was Baptist, but he really didn’t give a shit, so Dad was raised Catholic.. ”“I have seen all of your videos, the meal is on the house on one condition.”“Which is?”“I want to fuck you.”“Okay, as long as I got your name.”“It’s Amanda, would you like something to drink?”“Yes, I would like a martini and a virgin pina colada for my girl, here.”“Okay, I’ll be right back.”As soon as the waitress left, Kim gave me such a look, so I asked:“What’s wrong, babe?”“What the fuck are you gonna do with that waitress, fuck her?”“Yes, I will fuck her after we eat, but, that’s all I’m gonna do to her.”“Oh, I suppose that’s called ‘having sex’?”“Yes, it is, and since we’re on the subject, why don’t you ‘have sex’ with the valet?”“I will fuck him, that way we don’t have to pay there, either.”“Good, now, will you pipe down, she’s coming back.”Then, Amanda approaches the table, hands us our drinks, then, puts a Trojan down on the table, and whispers in my ear:“That’s for after desert, meet me in the bathroom.”After that, she asked us:“What would you like to eat?”“A seafood pasta.
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