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I suppose I was starkly confronted with the difference between who I want to be, and the person my Owners want me to be. And then there was me trying to be the person they want me to be. I have been trying to play the part these people want me to play. And that's the point - inside I have been Jennny McEwan; outside, I behave like Vyera. It's so very different; me and them, me and me.I'm not sure if ... I ... I don't think I can carry on doing that anymore.Vyera is taking over. It feels like the tide coming in. Vyera is swamping me, covering every surface, seeping into every corner. There is less and less space for Jenny; less and less time for Jenny. It's stopped being Jenny pretending to be Vyera. It's more like there's Vyera and this other person sometimes, who is Jenny. How long before I am Vyera all the time? Sometimes I look at Jenny as if she is a different person. I see, through Jenny, her husband; a man called Joe. He is ever so far away now. When I was Jenny ... When there. " Yeah, you're right. We didn't speak much, but I've known who you are fora long time. We can talk more later though; we better get started now ifwe want to make the reservation."I guessed that was all I was going to get from her for now. She looked meup and down before beckoning me into a small bathroom attached to herroom. I must not have seen it the first time."You may have noticed, Lily, but your hair has been particularlydifficult for me to work with in such short time, since it's quite short.Wigs are alright for some things, but they look too unnatural foreveryday wear and I have a much better plan."She pulled out what looked like long, separated locks of blonde hair andlaid them out on the counter. I reasoned that those were probablyextensions. I knew that some girls wore them to school."But won't those look weird in my hair? Those are blonde, how will theynot look terrible if I'm brunette?" Well, you won't be for long!" she exclaimed excitedly, and pulled out abox of.
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