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“You’re petite.”“Yeah,” She said. “I usually only eat like this after sex and I’ve been underappreciated lately.”“You’re welcome.” I smirked.“For what?”“For him working up your appetite.” Jess said. “Who is she and why is she staring?”Jess pointed out the redhead. She was at the bar pouring a tray full of beers for one of her tables. I waved. She waved. She blew a kiss, looked both ways, and dashed over.“Hi!” She said.“Hi, what’s your name?” I asked.“It’s Philia. It means love.” She grinned. That might’ve been cute on a precocious 14 year old. On a straddling 30 waitress, gorgeous or not, it sounded desperate.“Hi, Will. The name means force of character.” I said. Philia and Nisha shivered. Jess frowned as she sipped her beer.“I’m Nisha. She’s Jess.” Nisha added.“Cool, that’s enough Philia. Adelaide has us covered.” I shooed her off and she left with a frown.“You don’t think that was mean?” Jess asked.“You kidding?” I asked. “The only reason Talsy fishhooked Philia was to keep her out. For a minute, Hank and I stopped banging just to look at her. We laughed at each other, both of us experienced enough to recognize a babe when we see one! Then she started talking about her hot husband and showing pictures of him playing in his band- we both had our tongues hanging out- so hot and hairy- a shrimp maybe, but DUDE!!! Make it with Rachel Ray and her husband??? FUCK YEAH!Then Rachel runs her fingers across her glossy lips and says, “There isn’t gonna be a show today, boys!”And Hank and me are looking at each other, boned, and saying, “WHAT?!?”Turns out, Rachel was announcing a contest: best viewer burger recipe wins a naked weekend with her and her husband up in their Adirondacks cabin- and her Mom was bringing a breakfast casserole on Sunday morning after we fucked each other all night Saturday!Hank was like, “Dude! Get inspired!”So I did, and here’s the recipe that won us that prize:Ingredients (for 4 Hank Burgers)Bag cleaned Spinach- stems chopped offI clove garlic.
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