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And I need an honest answer? I asked. She gave me a yes nod of her head. Are you afraid to love …or to be loved? l continued. Both I guess, I dont let anybody close enough, She answered. Looked what happened …when I let you in. she said, tears welled in her eyes. Did something happen in your past? questioning her more. A long time ago, but that is in the past. she continued, sniffing, using her sleeve, wiping away a rolling tear. You know what I dont get …how someone as beautiful as yourself, seemed to be alone ..have nobody to enjoy this ..pointing at her. I said. That is just it, my beauty is a bigger hindrance than you can ever imagine …women feel intimidated by it …men will date me …just to use me as a display ornament …something to brag over with their drinking buddies. she continued. And …its really not a bad thing to be alone you know. she added. A little smile played around her face. I remembered when I was a teenager …my father once said …to have a son, you just have to worry. "I've told you before," dad grinned, "it's rude to talk with your mouth full."I got the impression that my father was avoiding the question and waited until my mouth was empty before asking it again. My father looked at me with a raised eyebrow."Why the interest all of a sudden?" he asked in return."Just curious." I grinned, "So why did you give up your career?" If you must know I gave it up to look after you." He sighed."But didn't mum stay home?" I asked."She was earning more than I was at the time," dad sighed looking down at his plate, "we agreed that it would be best if I gave up work to look after you."There was probably a lot more to it than that, mum had probably insisted that dad stay at home was probably nearer the truth; my mother had quite a forceful character and was very used to getting her own way in most things. I had a sudden picture of my mother in bed with dad ordering him around like a puppet while they made love; the image made me laugh and my father looked across.
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