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‘Sit down and pour yourself a rum. Take that second bottle home as a gift. I’m selling up in Ponsonby. I know of three people who want the old family home so will ask the real estate agents to auction it at the end of next month. I’ll buy something on the island. Some of those older properties come with more than one dwelling on-site. If it has a bach [cabin] you may wish to live there. Have your meals with me if you like.’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘Yeah what.’ ‘Yes Capt’n.’ Jack grinned. ‘No you fool, communicate properly.’ ‘Yes Jack, it would suit me to leave my sister’s snooty home in Parnell and live by the water on magnificent Wakefield Island with a fishing dory waiting for me just above high water mark. You’d buy me that boat, wouldn’t you, as compensation for uprooting me?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘Yeah what.’ ‘Yeah get fucked.’ ‘That makes you sound like your father.’ There was a pause as they both thought about the late Cedric Garland, RN (Rt’d). ‘Mrs Houdini has banked enough money in my account to pay. One morning, after yet another evening of sorting out yet another mental anguish moment, my phone buzzed as I received a text message. He asked me if I wanted to come over to his place – now living with a group of other metallers in a shitty student house. The booty call was irresistible and, despite needing to be in class in an hour, I high tailed it over there. When I rang the doorbell, another tall guy with long black hair answered - clearly hungover. I walked inside, he shouted from the top of the 3-story house a loud YES, and beckoned me up. The house was in ruins – it smelt of Boy, Smoke, and Sex. The kitchen had no back door – it was open to the elements and the weed garden outside. His room was in the attic. The roof sloped down and I banged my head FREQUENTLY as I rode him on his bed during our many get-togethers. The overflowing ashtray was perched on a pile of David Eddings books, and heavy rock music perpetually rang out of his stereo. There was no sheet on the mattress,.
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