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” “Are you fucking kidding me? Not only am I adding robbery and kidnapping, I’m adding grand theft auto to my rap sheet!” I screamed at the pump. Not only am I getting arrested, I’m gonna be someone’s bitch when I get there! Before I could completely lose myself control, I felt a slap across my left cheek. “Get yourself in check, Mark. First off, you didn’t kidnap me, but you did steal the money in the register. More importantly, you didn’t steal the van,” I rubbed my aching cheek while Ellie continued to explain. “This is my ex’s band’s van. I took it because I caught him fucking a groupie in my car and to add insult to injury he drove off with it and crashed it into a stop sign, so I took his van. Not only did I take the van, his pot stash came along with it.” Ellie had a look of pure satisfaction. She’s just as crazy as I am. At least I wasn’t alone on this crazy train. I’m pretty sure that I look dumbfounded at her confession and my realization of our equal craziness. “I have a. He then told me to exit the cage, and walk between him and one of theother guys. The rest walked behind us, so that I was unable to try toescape.I was led down a long, dark, dank hallway, and into a room which lookedlike a court room. There was a bench in the front where another muscularguy sat.I was marched to the front of the bench and made to stand there. I wasstarting to get very terrified about what might happen next."Court is now in session. Is the prisoner ready to hear his charges andsentence now?"Prisoner, did he mean me and what was going to happen to me?Nervously, I nodded my head. Afraid to find out what was going to bedealt to me."You are charged with acting effeminately. This is an affront to beinga male. Read me the list of pertinent behaviors."Another man got up and started reading from a sheet of paper. "Walkingwith a feminine sway to his butt. Holding his hands in a limp wristedfashion. High pitched voice. All his friends are girls." That is enough to.
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