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Ignoring the protests of the drunken man, they took his bottle off him and lifted him up off the ground. They carried him around the corner and dumped him headfirst into a blue wheelie bin. They stood around and laughed while Santa's legs kicked up out of the top of the bin.Fucking hilarious, Tim thought, like one of those cartoons where Santa gets stuck in the chimney.Danny took a sniff of Santa's bottle and jerked away, his eyes watering."Fucking hell, that's strong," he said.He upended the contents over the struggling Santa."Should go up a treat," Danny said, flipping open his zippo."Do it," Mikey said. "Do it for Rick."Danny sniggered and put the bright yellow flame to Santa's sodden ass. The alcohol-sodden trousers went up immediately, blue and yellow flames shooting up into the night sky. Drunken Santa's yelled obscenities changed to loud bellows, muffled by the plastic of the bin."Someone dial 999. Santa's on fire!" Danny laughed."Santa barbeque!" Mikey sniggered.The gang. I told him to take his time, that this was a safe placeand whatever was said here, stays here. I should have probably startedwith that but I was learning on the job.Once Larry was composed I said, "I understand Larry. It's a tough placeto be. Tell me about your marriage and sex life at home. How often do youhave sex with your wife? Is it intercourse or more than that? How long doyou spend with her?" I thought that would be important to know."It's been a long time, Shelly. She's accused me of having an affair, ofno longer being attracted to her, of having lost all sex drive, I don'tknow. I just, well, as I said, I'm obsessed. I can't tell her of course,could you imagine?" I certainly could but it wouldn't be an easyconversation. "Last time my wife and I made love it was quick, both of uswere quite drunk, and I don't think it was great but I don't remembermuch of it. It was a few months ago to be honest and we haven't doneanything since then. I, uh, masturbate at least once a day but.
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