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It feels strange going back to the beginning after everything that's happened since. I'm such a different person now than I was back then. I mean gawd I was such a goody-goody! I remember really thinking that Steven loved me. I mean he told me so! He was my first real boyfriend; I was 18 years old, a senior in high school, but I was ready to believe anything. He looked deep into my eyes and told me that he would never leave me. I sighed wistfully and thought I was in Heaven. Little did I know that he just wanted to cop a feel; not that it bugged me or anything, but when things looked like they were going to get purely physical, I wanted to see how far he would go for me first. And lo and behold, the spineless prick didn't even try to fuck me once I put on the slightest hard-to-get act. To be honest, I'm not sure if I would have let him or not. He wouldn't have been my first. I'd let one of the neighboring boys up at the cottage the previous summer use and abuse me for a few weeks.. So who in the hell sent it?Now the big number three; does Nikki know the answers to these questions and is she knowingly avoiding telling me? I knew that by just thinking about question number three does bring up the issue of trust. Do I trust Nikki? Before receiving the disk the answer would have been; completely and without reservation. But now, after learning of her omission to tell me about Facial Cruelty I wasn't nearly as certain. To my knowledge Nikki had never out and out lied to me. Yet, one definition states that 'to lie by omission is to remain silent and thereby withhold from someone else a vital piece of information. The silence is deceptive in that it gives a false impression to the person from whom the information was withheld. It subverts the truth; it is a way to manipulate someone into altering their behavior to suit the desire of the person who intentionally withheld the vital information; and, most importantly, it's a gross violation of another person's right of.
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