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Throughout this period of time, my orgasm was what mattered most to me. No doubt a contributing factor to my failed relationships with women. Soon, I started to visit Adult Bookstores and Cinemas. This was a turning point to my sexuality because most of the sexual contact was between me and other men. Still, my orgasm was what mattered most to me and I would get quite horny watching the xxx movies until some guy made it clear that he wanted to suck my cock. I'd let him go down on me and in a very short time I would cum in his mouth. I would leave the theater quickly after that without stopping to consider what it might be like to suck someone else. This kind of quickie, anonymous, hook up and cum, really appealed to me and I started to frequent the theater and bookstores more and more. One day I was in the xxx theater sitting in the back row waiting for someone to suck me off. The theater was almost empty and I just sat there getting all horned up watching the guys getting. ” We sunbathed, took a few more swims separately and somewhere in the late afternoon went back home. I was too afraid to talk to Eddy, so after dinner I went straight to my room. I worried that I had pushed my luck too far. Had I gotten myself into trouble? Now the strike of pure lust had ebbed away, I cursed myself for my forwardness. It was wrong. Even though I had always believed desire shouldn’t be denied, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was a freak. And more importantly, I wondered if Eddy thought I was a freak. I wiped the tears away and pulled out my sketchbook to draw. It always helped me to clear my mind, and this time was no different. It took a while, but eventually I was calm and had my attention focused completely on my drawings, so the knock on my door made me nearly shit my pants. I cursed and dropped my pencil. “What?!” ”Remember to do the dishes before you go to bed,” mom said. “And remember I don’t like you cursing.” ”Whatever,” I said. Sigh. I forgot it was my turn.
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